Recently someone asked me why?
“Why do you think I’m not moving on with my life?”
Before I answered I asked her if she really wanted me to answer. She said, “Yes”.
I asked this as many ask questions but they really don’t want to know the answer. They just want to hear themselves ask the questions.
I knew the answer to her question and could sum it up with five reasons.
I see so much potential in people. It is a gift I have. Give me five minutes with you and it is immediate how amazing you are and what you have to offer the world.
I hear their dreams and passions. When they talk about them they light up. You see it in their face, eyes and composure. Yet, when we begin to talk about the process or progress to fulfill their dreams, they begin to look away, lower their eyes, hunch their back and share the reasons why.
I know this path. For years I talked about my desires, hopes, purpose but got stuck in a rut of excuses, blame-game and doing everything else.
It took years for me to see who I was and what my purpose and passion in life was. Growing up with expectations, I spent too many years trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. Whether these were verbal or not, it was very clear to me.
1) I had to change my thoughts and beliefs about myselfIt was up to me to move forward. No one was going to do it for me or hold my hand.
“The greatest act of courage is the first step”.
2) If I found myself telling a story about WHY I couldn’t move forward doing what I knew was the best thing for me – I had to stop and listen to how I hinder my own success. These stories were all bricks I had built up to keep me where I was and not walking forward on the path I wanted.
3) I had to see the potential in me. As difficult as it was to turn off all the negative beliefs I had created in my mind for years – I did. I was willing to push through and risk failure to proceed.
These were not huge steps but each baby step brought me closer to where I wanted to go and be. I’m not where I want to be but so thankful I am not where I was.
4) I had to stop focusing on my downfalls, weaknesses, and past failures and look only to my strengths. Operating in your strengths is life changing. It is actually what people want to see in you. So many times people think if I talk about my weaknesses they will build me up and tell me that I am more than I think I am. This just feeds your ego but not your purpose.
5) I had to stop thinking that the messages of hope and strength were about someone else. No, it was for me and it was ME that had to step up to the plate and DO IT.
I don’t know if my answers to her five questions were heard.
Just thankful she was willing to listen.
But I realized after I said them that this is where I was many years ago. Wondering WHY I wasn’t proceeding in life. It was all ME. Yes, there were challenges – divorce, betrayal, financially broke, feeling unloved, on and on…. but none if it could hinder me from taking the next step closer to my purpose and passion.
If you are reading this – what is holding you back? What story do you tell that keeps you from moving on? Who or what are you blaming? What strengths are you not operating in? What opportunities do you see that you aren’t willing to act on? Was this for you?